The Health Secret No One Is Talking About
It is well established in scientific literature that positive emotions and a general positive affect do good things for long-term health and recovery. Too often though, I think this can put pressure on individuals to “feel happy.” It may cause you to look around at people with better circumstances and feel envious. It may cause anxiety because you can’t seem to “get happy” no matter how hard you try. It’s becoming increasingly clear that challenging circumstances are unavoidable (hellooo pandemic that never ends), so give yourself a break. This is hard, but that’s why I have a new strategy to suggest–choosing joy.
Choosing joy isn’t the same as being happy. It’s not the same as thinking positive. And perfect circumstances are not a prerequisite. Choosing joy is just what it sounds like. It’s assessing each moment and, when you can, purposefully choosing to find the fun. Laugh, play, be silly, invite the friend, do the puzzle, go to the happy hour, blast the song, skip down the sidewalk.
Choosing joy is about abandoning rigidity, guilt, to-do lists, and constant striving. It’s about embracing small moments that light you up and leaning into the present, even when you feel like you should or would rather be somewhere else. So take a moment and consider, what does light you up? Reflect on the moments in the past months or years that bring a smile to your face. Are they big events like Thanksgiving dinner, or are they tiny snippets of time like dancing with your partner or kids to a good song in the kitchen? Whatever they are, it’s time to brainstorm ways to cultivate more of them in your every day. It’s time to unclench your jaw, relax your shoulders, and think: joy!
Joyful moments alleviate stress, boosting our immunity and improving sleep. They remind us to embrace all of life, because life isn’t just about the big stuff–the vacations or the accomplishments. Life is also the in-between–commuting to work, getting the kids to school, making dinner, and washing dishes. Most importantly, remember that choosing joy can coincide with times of grief, struggle, or chronic stress. It is not an all or nothing approach. Much like most of my diet and lifestyle recommendations, joy can be integrated into your life, no matter where you are physically or emotionally. Here are some suggestions for ways to find joy in every day.
Reflect on what you really enjoyed doing as a child, and do it! I’ve rediscovered my love for crafts and watercolor, and it’s bringing me so much joy!
Rather than rushing to fix dinner, get out the door, do bedtime routines, etc. pause and be present. Ask yourself, is this that serious? How can I be more present and enjoy this moment? Drop the go-go-go mindset.
Make a playlist, name it “We Choose Joy”, and put it on when you need a pick-me-up.
Invite a friend over spur of the moment!
Feeling tense? Take a break to watch a funny show.
Set aside your to-do list and snuggle with a loved one or pet.
Leave a thoughtful gift in a friend or neighbor’s mailbox to spread some cheer.
Go sledding, ride a scooter, or hula hoop!
Share a funny meme or text with a friend. Laughter is medicine.
None of these suggestions will feel “efficient” or “productive,” but they will add to your life. They will make each day worth celebrating. If you’re anything like me, in these winter and pandemic months, it’s easy to huddle inside, isolate yourself, and get wound a little too tight. Try reframing some moments, create the joy, and let me know how it goes! And, if you think you could benefit from a partner in health or wellbeing, let’s work together! Community creates magic. Click HERE to schedule an initial (free) consultation with me.
XO,
Kara
